I’m 22 years old and I turn 23 in November. This has been one of the best years of my life. I’ve been saying that every year since I turned 20, but every year just seems to get better and better.
Here are some of the most important life lessons that I’ve learned over the years and that I think everyone should learn.
Enjoy!
Photos by: Alex Hainer
1. Drive vs. Motivation
One of the life lessons I’ve learned is that there is a huge difference between drive and motivation.
According to Economic Motivation, “Motivation is the microburst of energy you get to take action, drive is a macro state of being, a characteristic, or a mindset that is harder to attain or squander.”
A lot of people have motivation. It’s easy to feel motivated or to find motivation in life. You get excited when you have a new goal and start preparing and getting everything ready to accomplish this goal.
People are motivated to workout, to be healthy, to try new things, but a lot of people give up.
This is because motivation doesn’t get you where you want to go. It’s temporary. Motivation is great at helping you get started, but it won’t help you reach your goal.
Drive is what helps you reach your goals. Drive is what pushes you to keep going when you’re tired or want to give up. You hold yourself accountable when you’re driven. Drive is what perseveres when you lose motivation.
That being said, drive is way harder to achieve and maintain than motivation.
James Scholz has a great YouTube video about this. He talks about drive vs. motivation at 2:52, but I recommend watching the whole video. This is the video that made me realize the difference between the drive and motivation.
2. It’s ok to be lazy
In today’s society there’s an emphasis on productivity and there are countless videos on how to stay productive when you’re tired or lazy and this is great.
But I believe that there’s too much emphasis on productivity. People end up overworking themselves and feeling miserable, depressed and restless because they feel the need to be working all the time.
This happens a lot to people who work for themselves. For example, YouTubers are always thinking about different YouTube videos to film, editing videos or recording videos. Their minds are always focused on their job and when they do decide to take a break, they feel guilty and ashamed that they aren’t being productive.
You don’t have to be doing something productive at every hour of the day. It’s ok to relax, take naps, read, call someone, etc.
I used to feel so guilty when I was laying down and not working on anything. I’d be trying to do too many things at once and end up feeling overwhelmed.
3. Nothing lasts forever
Nothing lasts forever. This can be a difficult concept to grasp depending on how you choose to interpret it.
Some people will choose to take this negatively and others will find this comforting.
I find this very comforting and real. For example, if I’m feeling sad, angry, anxious or anything along those lines, I just remind myself that the feeling won’t last. It’ll go away like everything else and I’ll feel better soon.
Even thinking about life in general and all of the possibilities in the world can be too much to handle, but even life doesn’t last and that’s why it’s important to do things that make you happy.
This brings me to another lesson I learned.
4. Mindset matters
Your mindset plays a vital role in who you are as a person and how you live your life.
Focus on how you think about things:
- Why do you think a certain way?
- How do you feel about the way you think?
- Are you judgmental?
- Are you curious?
- Are you negative?
- Are you positive?
- Do you get offended easily?
Your perspective on life and situations directly influences and effects your own life. If you’re constantly thinking about things that can go wrong, you’ll be stressed, depressed and ultimately un-happy. Whereas, if you focus on the positive side of a situation and think about the good things that can come from it, you’ll be significantly happier and more relaxed.
Life is about adapting to changing circumstances and unexpected situations. If you practice seeing things as they are and not how you make them out to be in your head, this can positively affect your outlook on life.
5. Burnout
Burnout is real and it’s awful. This goes hand-in-hand with not having to be productive all the time.
When you overwork yourself, you tire out your mind and your body. You won’t be able to perform at as high of a level as you normally would. You’ll start regressing and end up not improving at all.
Your mind needs to have time to recover just like your body does. People give their bodies time to recover after an intense workout, but for some reason they don’t give their minds a break. This leads to feeling restless and anxious.
Burnout makes you feel like you’re not improving. This happens a lot to people who are studying for an exam. They study so much and then they stop seeing improvement, so this study harder. The reality is that if they took a few days off, they would be able to see their improvement and improve even more.
6. Don’t act on emotions
This is one of the most important lessons I learned and it’s applicable in everyday life.
Don’t speak when you’re angry. Don’t make decisions when you’re sad. Don’t make plans when you’re really happy. Take the time to actually think about what you’re feeling and just let yourself be sad, angry, happy or whatever you’re feeling.
Emotions can make your reactions and decision-making abilities unreliable. This is because your emotions are heightened and tend to make you less rational. Especially when you’re angry.
More than half the time, nothing good comes from acting on emotions. What good comes from calling someone rude names or saying things with the intention of hurting them? There is no point in doing it.
7. Get out of your comfort zone
Being comfortable is easy, nice, simple and pleasant. Most people settle for being comfortable.
But you grow so much more as a person by stepping outside of your comfort zone. You can learn a lot about who you are by being uncomfortable. Pushing yourself further and further can open up new doors in your life and allow you to find new hobbies, meet new people and much more!
The last few weeks I’ve been put in several uncomfortable situations (in a good way) and in the moment, I was nervous and scared, but once I was out of the situation, I realized that I was just uncomfortable because it was a situation I’ve never been in before, but I can handle it.
8. Let people be wrong
Sometimes, it’s ok to let people be wrong. You don’t need to argue with them and try to prove that they’re wrong.
There’s a sense of peace in knowing that someone is wrong, but letting them stay wrong. Especially when you know that an argument will come from trying to correct them. It’s not worth it. Eventually, they will find out the truth!
Of course, if that person is open to learning and doesn’t just want to play devil’s advocate 24/7, then telling them they’re wrong and explaining why is fine.
9. Admit when you’re wrong
It’s so important to admit when you’re wrong and being ok with it.
One of the most annoying traits in a person is when they always believe they’re right and can’t handle being wrong. Or when someone refuses to see things outside of their own perspective. It’s impossible to have conversations with someone like this, because you’ll get nowhere!
This is something I used to struggle with a few years ago. I hated being wrong. There would even be times when I was caught in an argument and knew that I was wrong, but kept arguing because I didn’t want to lose the fight. It’s actually pretty embarrassing to think about.
Being wrong is actually a good thing. It’s an opportunity where you can learn something new and grow from it.
10. People change
People change and that’s ok. You can’t expect someone to be the same person they were years ago. Someone can change a lot within one year!
This is something I think a lot of people in relationships struggle with. They expect their partner to stay the same and when they start changing (which is normal) they tend to drift.
This usually ends in them breaking up or them staying in an un-happy relationship just because they’ve been together for so long.
I believe that if people realized that everyone changes, people would be more understanding and more open to change.
Of course, people change at different speeds and times in their life. Some will change drastically in a year, while someone else seems to have stayed the same.
Think about yourself and how much you’ve changed and grown over the years. Are you the same person you were 5 years ago? No, you’re not. You might be very similar, but you’ve still changed and that’s a good thing.
Change is hard and sometimes you outgrow the people you’ve been with for years – whether that’s a significant other or friends. Don’t let yourself be held back because you’re scared of change.
11. Learn from other people’s mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes. We learn from our own mistakes (hopefully), but we can also learn from other people’s mistakes.
Listen to your parents, or friends or strangers. When they’re telling a story or trying to give you a life lesson, listen to them. Even if you don’t agree. They’ve made a mistake in their life and are trying to help you not make the same mistake. Listen to the advice other people give you.
I’ve avoided a lot of situations because of what other people have told me.
12. Don’t care what other people think
This is a lesson that everyone hears at some point in their life. It’s also a very hard lesson to follow.
Of course, you shouldn’t care what other people think! But you still do. Everyone cares what others think to a certain extent.
I wish I didn’t care what other people think, but I still do. I just don’t let it influence me as much as I used to. I don’t let the fear of being judged by others stop me from what I want to do.
The truth is, most people are too obsessed with themselves to care about what you do! The few people who are judgmental and that have opinions on other people have too much time on their hands are not going to get far in life. You shouldn’t care what they think anyway. You’re actually working on yourself and trying to improve your life.
13. Be present
This is something I’ve always heard throughout life, but never understood until a recently.
Everyone is always focused on the past or future and before they know it, 3 years flew by and they don’t know where the time went.
Focus on the now. Be aware of yourself and your surroundings. Use your senses to be present where you are.
- what do you see
- what do you hear
- what do you smell
- what are you tasting
- what can you feel
Using your senses can help you be grounded and feel present.
Right now is the most important part in life. You’re alive now. Enjoy it! It’s easy to get wrapped up in the future or think about the past, but try to take the time and be present in the moment you’re in right now.
14. Balance is key
This is insanely important and something I wish everyone would learn. Balance is key with everything in life. Too much of anything is bad.
A problem that I see a lot of people struggle with, is that when they decide to make a change in their life, they often make a drastic one and go to the extreme.
For example: People who decide they’re going to start working out. They go full force and start training really intensely, multiple times a week and then end up giving up because they pushed themselves too hard. They’re drained, sore, tired and they decide that working out just isn’t for them. But that’s not true. They just went to the extreme of working out rather than taking it slow.
You need a balance with everything you do.
Another example I see this with is with social media. People think social media is horrible so they delete all of it. For a lot of people this works, but is it really necessary? You could just limit the amount of time you spend on it. You could use it for 10 minutes and then stop.
I know several people who’ve deleted social media, because it’s having a negative effect on them, but they always end up getting it back. It’s because they took it to the extreme rather than trying to take it slow find a balance that works for them.
15. Wake up early
This is a life lesson that I learned early on. This lesson is not for everyone.
My entire life I’ve been waking up early. Mornings are my favorite part of the day. They’re quiet and peaceful. The sunrises are beautiful. It’s a great feeling to wake-up early.
Waking up early allows me to be alone, and get a lot of things done before the day actually starts. I can finish everything I have to do by 1:00pm (or earlier) and then I have the rest of my day to whatever I want.
I find that when I wake up late, I automatically feel lazy and will be lazy for the rest of the day and then I’ll regret it later on.
16. Read
Reading for me, is entertaining, relaxing and oftentimes an escape from reality. I’ve learned so much from reading. Whether it’s new words, new concepts, new lessons, reading provides so many benefits and it’s just fun in itself.
There are books out there for any type of person. Reading is a great alternative to watching endless TikToks or scrolling through Instagram.
17. Be selfish
It’s ok to be selfish. Do things for yourself. You don’t have to be the nice person 24/7. Learn to say no.
I’ve always done things for everyone else. I’d put them before me, or stop what I’m doing to help someone else and it was very tiring. When people get used to you doing things for them all the time, they become dependent on you and start taking advantage (whether they realize it or not).
Yeah, it’s nice to be a reliable person, but not when you’re making yourself unhappy by doing so. This is your life. Not anyone else’s. Do things because you want to. Live for yourself and not for other people.
We’re taught to always be kind and to help others out, but you need to set boundaries with yourself and others. It’s not your job to take care of someone and have them rely on you for everything going on in their life! You have a life of your own.
18. Journal
Journaling has single handedly transformed me into who I am today. I’ve been journaling since I was a freshman in high school (8 years ago) and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.
Journaling allows you to discover yourself, write down memories, see how you’ve evolved over time, it makes you less anxious and so much more.
I wish there was a way for me to convince everyone who’s reading this to buy a journal and start as soon as possible.
19. See from outside your perspective
This. Is. So. Important.
Seeing things from outside your perspective is crucial in life. SO many people are narrow minded and believe that if you don’t think like them, then you’re wrong. This is a terrible mindset to have in life.
Everyone sees the world differently. We all grew up in different households, different situations, listening to different music, watching different shows. All of these factors influence who we are today. Everyone has had different life experiences than you and that effects the way they think and interpret situations.
Trying to see things from someone else’s perspective will save you from a lot of arguments. Practice putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and see how you would feel in a different position. This will also help you be a more well-rounded person.
20. Be open minded/non judgmental
This goes hand-in-hand with seeing things from outside your perspective.
People are so quick to judge. They have stereotypes, biases and opinions and refuse to acknowledge that there are other situations and circumstances that people are in.
Before you jump to conclusion about someone’s character, think about why they are the way they are. Think about why you’re being so judgmental towards them. Stop seeing life through a narrow lens.
Sometimes, your judgments are justified and that’s good. But most of the times, they aren’t.
21. Be comfortable with being alone
This is something I see so many people struggle with today.
I know several people who aren’t able to be alone. They always have to be in a relationship. Once they breakup, they’re in a new one right away. I don’t think this a good thing.
I believe it’s important to learn to be alone and be ok with being by yourself. You can’t depend on someone else to make you happy. Depending on someone else to make you happy will make them feel drained and will make you seem clingy.
Even outside of relationships. There are people who have to go out all the time and be with friends every day. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to be with friends, but who are you when you’re alone? Why aren’t you okay with being by yourself?
22. Be grateful
Be grateful for everything you have and remind yourself how you have these things and how you got where you are today.
For me, everything I have in this life is because of my parents. I would have nothing without them. I try to remind myself how fortunate I am to have the life I live. It’s easy to forget how spoiled you are when you’ve been handed everything in life.
It’s important to take the time and be grateful that you have a bed, a phone, water, food – the basic things that you take for granted every day!
Wrap-up
These are some of the most important life lessons I’ve learned so far. I try to implement all of these lessons into my life and they’ve shaped me into who I am today.
Even though some of these lessons were hard to learn, I’m grateful to everyone whose helped me learn them.
There are definitely way more lessons I learned that I can add to this list, but I’ll leave it at 22.
Hopefully you were able to take something away from this post and learn something new!
*Feel free to leave any comments or questions down below so I can answer them for you!*
Related posts
Journaling: 11 Reasons to Start Today + How to Journal
7 Productive Things to Do When You’re Bored
Socials